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Interracial couples have to endure a few uncomfortable glances, question and crude remarks publicly. Interracial couples are still seen as people who have broken the rules of the society, are ridiculed for going against social norms and are constantly kept on tenterhooks by society and family. Few words, phrases and sentences that interracial couples have to put on with are almost common worldwide
It is not uncommon to hear people talk about your kids if you are an interracial couple. Generally people will remark that you guys are going to have awesome mixed babies. Now no one is entitled to comment on your personal life. You guys may or may not have even thought about having babies still there are people around you who have decided the color and kind of your babies. Apart from that a few of them may even warn you about the identity crisis your kids are going to face once they grow up.
There will be instances when people will keep pestering you to remember the time when you had to face family pressure, social alienation and a host of other problems because you were in a interracial relationship. Some lucky people may have found a supportive family and a conducive environment for their interracial dating and relationship still you will be asked to share your experience about how you faced the rough times when everybody was against your relationship.
I try and create a different story every time people ask me about my struggle. It has become common knowledge within my social circle that these kinds of questions do not bother me anymore. WE need to understand that our struggles are our own experiences and we may choose not to share them with anyone in the world.
While walking hand in hand down a street an interracial couple is not trying to make a progressive statement. They are two individuals who are in love with each other. People may even make this statement on your face although some of them sarcastically as if you have been really trying to make a difference to the society.
Many people are constantly going to nag you about your lack of taste since you have moved from your race to another to build a relationship and a family. There will be direct questions like – You do not like anyone from your own race? Didn’t you find someone who looks more like you?
Being a interracial couple or being in an interracial relationship is not that easy since people will keep telling you about the other interracial couples they have known all through their life. They will draw an analogy in almost everything between you and the other couples whom you haven’t ever heard of.
You need to keep your spirits high and ensure that these kinds of comments do not affect you. Remember your relationship holds more worth than such kinds of talks and low behavior of people who can’t think beyond their race.
Tip: There shouldn’t be any pretending.
There’s one thing to remember: If love or attraction between two people of different color is not possible, then there shouldn’t be any half-citizens at all. Here are some things to do when dating someone of a different race.
You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. It’s either you’ll end up creating a wrong, condescending impression, or having to stick to your pretentions all your life. While you may want to express your interest in the other person’s language or ways, you have to be sincere and avoid mimicking. You may also want to avoid creating an imprint of pure intentions when you’re only after steamy escapades.
Most of the time, it’s not all about the difference in language or skin tone, other views vary from one culture to another. Hence, you may have to brace yourself when dating someone who comes from another race. There’s no right or wrong, just variety.
Even when you know part of you wants to experiment on what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone of foreign blood or culture, you should remember you’re dating a human being, not a guinea pig. Your potential partner may be someone different, but it doesn’t mean you’ll just play along. Respect begets respect.
While you consider your date as a foreigner or different, remember it’s vice versa. You are also unusual, on your date’s point of view. Ideally, there shouldn’t be any superior or inferior, especially in love and relationships.
All right, this time I will teach you how to actually ‘tease’ your way into getting a conversation with someone you think is interesting. After all, someone needs to make the first move. For the single ladies who are scared of seeming too awkward, you may have to initiate else you will be left waiting in vain for the time to come.
Here are some decent ways on how you can make that first move.
Of course, you wouldn’t want to come across fake or trying too hard. Just start acknowledging simple truths about the other person. Just be prepared for rebuttals and transitions. You wouldn’t like to talk all day about the sneakers or shirt he’s wearing, or the skirt that hugs her behind perfectly. (wink!)
There are limitless possibilities of things to ask, However, since you are making the first move, make sure to pick a topic tastefully and inquire in a way that would make the other person want to talk to you. First impressions often last, so don’t just ask anything for the sake of asking. Play it smart.
You may have to assert yourself by opening a conversation with things you know or are sure of, then ask that person for an opinion. Like the first two tricks, you may have to be prepared and keen enough. It’s either you end up with a too opinionated person or not at all.
When making the first move, you may not always get the exact responses or reactions you expect. You may have to follow-up with an inquiry whether it’s bad timing or too personal. As this happens, relax. There’s always next time or another person.
Flirting doesn’t always have to come with a negative connotation. It’s all about timing.
Finding the right partner takes time, and is more likely a trial-and-error, which means you have to go through investing, with your time, efforts and emotions.
Your friends can always give you tips and tricks to make things work. In time, you’ll learn it for yourself the best and worst practices of relationship-building.
In my case, there are some tips I wished I’d known sooner. Here are some that you can apply on your journey to finding true love.
When you think you like someone and starts hearing not-so-positive anecdotes from others, you may have to take a pause and think again.
Put things on ‘fast forward.’ Can you keep up with someone who drinks or nags a lot? Maybe not. Maybe yes. Remember that you deserve the best. While you may endure things, it may be emotionally and physically straining on your end. Hence, before you invest every inch of your body and soul to your probable mate, be ready.
You may discover yourself in a circumstance where you have somehow invested emotionally, physically, and financially on another person, only to find out he/she dislikes you for not being the ‘perfect fit.’ You may have to assess yourself first before making any harsh decisions of either letting go or changing. You may always diss people off for being superficial, but you may also consider changing for the better.
It doesn’t mean you’re getting married. You’re just entertaining a possibility of a long lasting relationship that may lead you to the altar, or maybe not. Remember to set your limitations and expectations. It works better that way. Don’t rush things, as the song goes “Only Fools Rush In.”
Try to remember these things when looking for a partner. You should aim for someone who wants to be a better person with you.