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A person you’ve been dating ends the relationship because they’re not interested in marrying interracially. How many of you out there have experienced this? Yes, interracial dating is definitely on the rise and is generally much more accepted today. Society is more tolerant of non-traditional couples and, as a result, a lot more people are willing to give interracial dating a try but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re willing to take the big plunge.
Why would somebody date interracially but not want to marry interracially? On the surface it smacks of every negative racial stereotype you’ve ever heard of, right? Good enough to sleep with but not good enough to make a wife etc. Sexual curiosity… the bane of interracial dating. That might be the situation with some but there’s something else to consider as well. There are a lot of people, men and women, who just don’t want to deal with the cultural challenges of an interracial marriage. Dating is a different story. You can end a dating situation if things get too complicated because of racial differences but that’s not really an option for marriage. Once you take the vows, as in any marriage, you’re tied to that person and ending it can be messy. Plus, it would be hard for a judge to consider racial issues as “irreconcilable” differences. That’s why a lot people are wiling to date but not marry interracially.
Now, when you take a step back and really think about it… can you blame them? Normally, it’s a good thing when people are willing to take some time to think about what they could and couldn’t deal with in a marriage and we often encourage our friends to date different people to find out what those things are. So, why can’t racial issues be included in that basket of other things that you should consider? If it’s okay for a person to walk away from a dating situation because they don’t like the other person’s personality quirks shouldn’t it also be okay for someone to walk away if they think that an interracial relationship is too much trouble for them?
It’s not really a waste of anyone’s time to date even if they’re unsure about how they’d feel about marriage. If people only dated because they were marriage-minded, there would be a lot of empty restaurants on Friday and Saturday nights. A person can genuinely be attracted to you, and for all the right reasons, but realize that the stares in public make them too uncomfortable. And, yes, it’s okay for you to be disappointed in them for not being strong enough to endure that sort of thing for the sake of being with you but, ultimately, if they’re not willing to try you shouldn’t force them. Otherwise, your relationship will not be based on the right kind of foundation. And you should definitely want to know that before going into it. If you can see that your mate may not be able to deal with the challenges of an interracial marriage don’t wear blinders.
Now, whether or not you’re willing to go out with someone who makes it known upfront that they’re not interested in marrying interracially is a completely different story. Obviously, it depends on what you’re looking for and how mature you are. That’s kind of like going out with someone who doesn’t want kids though when you have a five-year old at home. But then again, if you’re just dating to date and not to prescreen people for marriage then maybe that’s something you’re okay with. We’re not suggesting that you should or shouldn’t go out with people who wouldn’t marry interracially. We’re just examining what some of the motivations might be. Ultimately, it’s up to you to figure out if you’re willing to go out with someone who isn’t interested in marriage… whether it’s due to race or not.
Dating is one part of life that comes with its own surprises. Dating best friend seems to cut short those surprises still one will be able to relive the dating experience of dating best friend if both the partners are excited to date each other. Your best friend will behave and may also show up a new personality once you start dating him or her. Apart from that both of you have known each other for ages thus the discomfort or even the stress of knowing each other is cut short.
The biggest hurdle while dating is getting your date introduced to your family especially if you are going to continue your relationship for a long time probably marriage. However one does not face much of a problem while dating a best friend. Probably your family knows all your friends and your best friend is a household name for your parents and siblings. Approval from family for the date comes without any problems even if you have decided to date outside your race. Many interracial relationships are a result of best friends dating.
Both of you might be hanging together, going out together to various events, go for a sleep over to common friends places or even to each other’s homes before actually proposing each other to date. Spending quality time together and talking to each other is something that will not be new for you. This means you already have had your first date. You need not go through the first date blues like deciding which restaurant or café to visit, what clothes to wear or how to behave with your date for the first time.
You and your best friend have shared everything till now including your past relationship failures, you know about his relationship failures if any. If you two have met just a few days ago then you two must have heard or known the minutest details about your best friend. This makes dating best friend all the easier and justified.
When you are friends especially best friends you have a lot in common between yourself. You share interests, you share hobbies, you may also be sharing the same school, college or area which makes the connection or bond all the stronger. Even if is an interracial relationship both of you have so much in common that race does not really have an effect on your relationship. Going out and doing activities together while dating changes the equation altogether compared to the one you had when you were just best friends.
Dating best friend means you complement the qualities and shortcomings of each other before you actually start dating each other. Expectation setting is according to the past relationship you have had as best friends. You know the mood tantrums of each other. Apart from that, you know how to lift up the mood of your dating partner without going overboard.
In this era of digital technology and smart phone’s, everyone is making use of their smart phones to carry out quite a few essential tasks of life. Right from shopping to managing your day the smart phone is playing a big role in your online dating endeavours. Online dating websites are very helpful in finding a dating partner.
According to a research “today 15% of U.S. adults report they have used dating websites and dating apps to find a life partner”. Online dating has eaten into the market share of matchmakers. This can be attributed to the fun and no frills online dating websites provide to their users. Dating website’s generally aim to find a compatible dating partner for you with whom you can decide to spend your life.
You can easily find a partner, a spouse, a friend for life via an online dating website. People who have registered themselves on a dating website are open to date you if they find you interesting. The sole purpose of these websites is dating.
The best online dating websites have algorithms which will match your profile with the most compatible profiles thus suggesting you dating partners based on scientific and behavioural research. You must have noticed the suggestions you receive once you are a member of an online dating website. These suggestions are based on the compatibility the website has worked out for you.
Research and experience makes one clear that people spend less time on reading text especially on online dating websites. When men check out women online they tend to be more interested in seeing her pictures and images she has uploaded on her dating profile. Same is true for women. They will also find a profile with a lot of good images interesting as compared to a profile with no or less images and a lot of texting highlighting his achievements in life.
Online dating websites give you a freedom to choose your dating partner. If you are not happy with someone you are talking or seeing right now just move on and find a new one. The simplicity and no strings attached concept on these online dating websites make them quite popular among the masses. You don’t have to live with a bad partner even if you had taken the initiative in contacting him or her.
Online dating is not just fun. It is a serious life activity. Online dating brings people from different geographic areas, ethnicity, classes and social strata to one platform. There are quite a few interracial dating websites that bring together people from different races. A lot of these dating relationships turn into long term relationships and marriages. A survey has revealed that one fifth of the marriages happening worldwide are a result of dating online.
People glued to their chairs in the office or globetrotting for business are the ones who are taking the lead in the online dating scenario. Time is scare and socialising is restricted to the professional circle therefore working professionals turn to online dating. Apart from that success people achieved in the past few years and the kind of features provided by dating websites is a big reason for the growing popularity of online dating websites with almost everyone.
While dating online particularly on an interracial dating website you need to make sure that you are safe from predators that keep lurking on the web and in real life. Steering away from fake people is not hard if you are careful and observant while dating online with an interracial dating website. The signs are always there. Sometimes we tend to ignore these signs since we are too much involved with the dating hangover. Keeping yourself safe online from people who have a fake identity on interracial dating websites is your responsibility. These interracial dating websites take all measures to keep you safe still they have a huge database to manage and it becomes a tad difficult at times to kick out people who do not deserve to be there.
While dating everyone looks for the perfect match someone who is complete in all aspects, does not have any flaws and is a yes man or a yes woman in the relationship. However, these scenarios are present only in fairy tales. Human beings are not robots. They are prone to say no to whatever they do not like. Human beings cannot be flawless and if you find one person who wants to date you via an interracial dating website and presents himself as someone flawless consider it as a red flag.
Many interracial dating websites provide an opportunity to have a video call or even a chat in the real time where you can see the person love via your device you are using for dating. People who are present on interracial dating websites for a purpose other than dating will make excuses not to attend any of the video calls you try to make with them. Any live streaming medium where they need to come face to face will be avoided by such people. They will steer clear of any private chats that have the facility of a video call citing one or the other reason.
People who keep changing their statements and tell you a different story about the same thing every time they have a chat with you are essentially telling lies to you about themselves. People having an agenda other than dating will never be consistent with their statements. You just need to be careful and a bit alert while chatting with people on interracial dating websites.
In case you start chatting with someone on an interracial dating website check for them on social media websites like facebook, twitter, LinkedIn, myspace, vk, Pinterest. You don’t have to connect with them over there just have a look at their profiles and try and match it up with the one you have on the interracial dating website. People who are connected to you on an interracial dating website but are nowhere to be seen on social media are definitely a red flag considering they may be posing to be someone else on the interracial dating website. On a safe side tread cautiously with someone whom you are not able to look upon the web via a search against their name.
Your first interracial date is going to be as exciting as going on a roller coaster for a kid for the first time. The interracial date brings in a few surprises you may have never expected, a few cultural shocks you may not have been ready for and a few facts that you may have never heard of. Get ready for your big day that has just arrived thanks to the interracial dating website you have been using for the past few months. Be sure to put your best clothes and your best behavior with a positive attitude for your first interracial date. Here are a few tips that will come handy on your first interracial date.
Butterflies in the stomach and nervousness will always be there while dating an interracial woman for the first time. You never know how things are going to unfold for you. However just remember one thing that she said a YES to date you. Both of you are together on a date since she also has interest in meeting and knowing you more. Focus on the positive traits you have, trust your wits and intuitions. Leave all the negative thoughts at home before stepping out for the first date. Be your natural self. A majority of the women will like to see the kind of person you are in your raw form. Do not pretend to be someone you are not. Women have a strong sensing power and they are going to sense if you pretend.
Choosing a location is the hardest part when you are dating someone for the first time. First and foremost chose a location that is equidistant from your place and her place. Secondly, the place should not be too overcrowded. Avoid shady locations and bad neighborhoods. A coffee shop can be an ideal location for your first date since it is not too heavy on the wallet and offers you a good start in the form of coffee which is considered as the best ice breaker for first-time daters. Keep your first date short and crisp. Keeping it short means you always have a second chance to meet her in the real world. Apart from that, you keep your mysterious self-hidden along with the suspense of your date’s personality which will unfold in the subsequent meetings.
Being polite in your words and gestures is not going to take away your macho image you have built for yourself. Open the doors for her; all doors – the car door, restaurant door. It will surely leave a good impression on her and talk a lot about your personality. You have planned the date so make sure that you pay for everything. Don’t even suggest spilling the bills. However, if she insists firmly on splitting the bills go for it. Don’t hurt her sentiments on the first date itself. Being on time is something that you need to make sure. Plan accordingly. Keep the traffic snarls and rush hour in mind and get out of the house early. It will hardly make a difference if you are five minutes early. However, if you are ten minutes late your prospective first interracial date may prove to be your last date with your dream woman.
Interracial couples have to endure a few uncomfortable glances, question, and crude remarks publicly. Interracial couples are still seen as people who have broken the rules of the society, are ridiculed for going against social norms and are constantly kept on tenterhooks by society and family. Few words, phrases, and sentences that interracial couples have to put on with are almost common worldwide
It is not uncommon to hear people talk about your kids if you are an interracial couple. Generally, people will remark that you guys are going to have awesome mixed babies. Now no one is entitled to comment on your personal life. You guys may or may not have even thought about having babies still there are people around you who have decided the color and kind of your babies. Apart from that a few of them may even warn you about the identity crisis your kids are going to face once they grow up.
There will be instances when people will keep pestering you to remember the time when you had to face family pressure, social alienation and a host of other problems because you were in an interracial relationship. Some lucky people may have found a supportive family and a conducive environment for their interracial dating and relationship still you will be asked to share your experience about how you faced the rough times when everybody was against your relationship.
I try and create a different story every time people ask me about my struggle. It has become common knowledge within my social circle that these kinds of questions do not bother me anymore. We need to understand that our struggles are our own experiences and we may choose not to share them with anyone in the world.
While walking hand in hand down a street an interracial couple is not trying to make a progressive statement. They are two individuals who are in love with each other. People may even make this statement on your face although some of them sarcastically as if you have been really trying to make a difference to the society.
Many people are constantly going to nag you about your lack of taste since you have moved from your race to another to build a relationship and a family. There will be direct questions like – You do not like anyone from your own race? Didn’t you find someone who looks more like you?
Being an interracial couple or being in an interracial relationship is not that easy since people will keep telling you about the other interracial couples they have known all through their life. They will draw an analogy in almost everything between you and the other couples whom you haven’t ever heard of.
You need to keep your spirits high and ensure that these kinds of comments do not affect you. Remember your relationship holds more worth than such kinds of talks and low behavior of people who can’t think beyond their race.
There’s one thing to remember: If love or attraction between two people of different race or color is not possible, then there shouldn’t be any half-citizens at all. Here are some things to do when dating someone of a different race.
You don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not. It’s either you’ll end up creating a wrong, condescending impression, or have to stick to your pretentions all your life. While you may want to express your interest in the other person’s language or ways, you have to be sincere and avoid mimicking. You may also want to avoid creating an imprint of pure intentions when you’re only after steamy escapades.
Most of the time, it’s not all about the difference in language or skin tone, other views vary from one culture to another. Hence, you may have to brace yourself when dating someone who comes from another race. There’s no right or wrong, just variety.
Even when you know part of you wants to experiment on what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone of foreign blood or culture, you should remember you’re dating a human being, not a guinea pig. Your potential partner may be someone different, but it doesn’t mean you’ll just play along. Respect begets respect.
While you consider your date as a foreigner or different, remember it’s vice versa. You are also unusual, on your date’s point of view. Ideally, there shouldn’t be any superior or inferior, especially in love and relationships.
All right, this time I will teach you how to actually ‘tease’ your way into getting a conversation with someone you think is interesting. After all, someone needs to make the first move. For the single ladies who are scared of seeming too awkward, you may have to initiate else you will be left waiting in vain for the time to come.
Here are some decent ways on how you can make that first move.
Of course, you wouldn’t want to come across fake or trying too hard. Just start acknowledging simple truths about the other person. Just be prepared for rebuttals and transitions. You wouldn’t like to talk all day about the sneakers or shirt he’s wearing, or the skirt that hugs her behind perfectly. (wink!)
There are limitless possibilities of things to ask, However, since you are making the first move, make sure to pick a topic tastefully and inquire in a way that would make the other person want to talk to you. First impressions often last, so don’t just ask anything for the sake of asking. Play it smart.
You may have to assert yourself by opening a conversation with things you know or are sure of, then ask that person for an opinion. Like the first two tricks, you may have to be prepared and keen enough. It’s either you end up with a too opinionated person or not at all.
When making the first move, you may not always get the exact responses or reactions you expect. You may have to follow-up with an inquiry whether it’s bad timing or too personal. As this happens, relax. There’s always next time or another person.
Flirting doesn’t always have to come with a negative connotation. It’s all about timing.
Finding the right partner takes time, and is more likely a trial-and-error, which means you have to go through investing, with your time, efforts and emotions.
Your friends can always give you tips and tricks to make things work. In time, you’ll learn it for yourself the best and worst practices of relationship-building.
In my case, there are some tips I wished I’d known sooner. Here are some that you can apply to your journey to finding true love.
When you think you like someone and starts hearing not-so-positive anecdotes from others, you may have to take a pause and think again.
Put things on ‘fast forward.’ Can you keep up with someone who drinks or nags a lot? Maybe not. Maybe yes. Remember that you deserve the best. While you may endure things, it may be emotionally and physically straining on your end. Hence, before you invest every inch of your body and soul to your probable mate, be ready.
You may discover yourself in a circumstance where you have somehow invested emotionally, physically, and financially on another person, only to find out he/she dislikes you for not being the ‘perfect fit.’ You may have to assess yourself first before making any harsh decisions of either letting go or changing. You may always diss people off for being superficial, but you may also consider changing for the better.
It doesn’t mean you’re getting married. You’re just entertaining a possibility of a long lasting relationship that may lead you to the altar, or maybe not. Remember to set your limitations and expectations. It works better that way. Don’t rush things, as the song goes “Only Fools Rush In.”
Try to remember these things when looking for a partner. You should aim for someone who wants to be a better person with you.